I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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