I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
