is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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