yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
