I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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