When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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