Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize