You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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