my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
