got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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