well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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