Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
