Porn is love you can see.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
