I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
