i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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