alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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