Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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