i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize