i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We left the knife in your bed.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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