I CAN MOONWALK!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize