addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
