They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
