just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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