I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just threw up on my dentist
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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