Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize