threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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