I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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