i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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