I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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