he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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