i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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