it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
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No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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