i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.