i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.