I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just want to make out with him forever
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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