Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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