i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
