You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I heard we made out
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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