well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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