drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila