Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
