You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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