He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm too high and old for this...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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