Can i not drive my cunt home
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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