I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
