I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
