i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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