and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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