You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
