fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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