I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
