Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
