Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
