I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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