Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

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  (530): Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust http://tfl.nu/l0ps
  Replies (10) Good night (3733) Bad night (994)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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  (641): I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting. http://tfl.nu/pz3u
  Replies (27) Good night (9174) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people

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  (203): I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people http://tfl.nu/t9vq
  Replies (39) Good night (857) Bad night (4962)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.

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  (603): just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college. http://tfl.nu/g8i6
  Replies (17) Good night (4030) Bad night (658)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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  (509): Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied. http://tfl.nu/w7qp
  Replies (17) Good night (1002) Bad night (6152)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love

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  (516): I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love http://tfl.nu/fo0q
  Replies (41) Good night (2590) Bad night (4474)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.

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  (616): I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse. http://tfl.nu/2ozn
  Replies (3) Good night (2165) Bad night (875)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them

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  (410): I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them http://tfl.nu/t6zs
  Replies (1) Good night (972) Bad night (1875)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

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  (440): I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job. http://tfl.nu/xaqo
  Replies (13) Good night (1007) Bad night (2967)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday

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  (925): Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday http://tfl.nu/d2se
  Replies (10) Good night (726) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

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  (937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2893) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.

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  (859): We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot. http://tfl.nu/b8ei
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex

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  (270): My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex http://tfl.nu/avu5
  Replies (0) Good night (793) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out

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  (440): so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out http://tfl.nu/ke1e
  Replies (0) Good night (318) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.

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  (650): Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel. http://tfl.nu/ibvo
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (220)

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