I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
